


Tales From James At Ericson's

by iolanthie



Series: James' Sequel [2]
Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Amputation, Emotional, F/F, Feels, Gen, M/M, One Big Happy Family, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23085046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iolanthie/pseuds/iolanthie
Summary: A collection of short stories about James set after the end of the series. He joins the group at Ericson's and slowly builds relationships with them over time.The Ericson's group gets to be happy. Platonic James and Clementine friendship. James taking on the role of a guardian for Tenn. Lots of other characters and relationships (mostly platonic, but some romantic) will be featured, too.[Everyone is alive and no one was killed/permanently injured AU... except for Clem who did lose one of her legs]Warnings: Characters will recall past trauma/violence but no new trauma or violence will be happening.
Relationships: Charlie (Walking Dead: Broken Toys)/James (Walking Dead: Suffer the Children), Clementine & James (Walking Dead: Suffer the Children), James & Tenn (Walking Dead: Suffer the Children)
Series: James' Sequel [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1530278
Kudos: 6





	Tales From James At Ericson's

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters/stories are not in chronological order.

It took James a long time to fall asleep the first night that he slept at Ericson's. Being in a bed was so foreign to him that he found it difficult to relax and let his guard down. When his body finally gave in to the exhaustion, he entered a deep sleep that he wouldn't wake from for hours.

It didn't happen often, but sometimes, when James needed it most, he dreamt of Charlie.

\---

They were back on the fire escape at Charlie's house, but it wasn't the same day that the world ended. It was winter, and snow was falling gently over the city. There was no sunset, no skyline to be seen, just a haze of snowflakes.

James was a young boy again, no older than twelve. He could tell by looking down at his hands - they were small and pale, thin skin stretching out over fragile blue veins that were visible in the low light coming from the window. His legs were short and thin and they easily fit through the bars on the fire escape. He looked at his dangling feet and saw another pair of feet dangling beside his own.

He looked up and saw Charlie smiling softly at him, his dark eyes bright and full of life. He was a young boy again too, like he had been when they'd met. When he looked into Charlie's eyes his heart felt warm and full, like there was nothing else he could ever want or need but to be here together with him.

"What're you thinking about, Jamie?" The warm smile never left Charlie's face as he spoke.

"I miss you," James whispered. "I miss your voice. I miss being with you. I miss when we were kids."

"I miss you, too," he replied softly, honestly.

"I still have your picture. After all this time. I carry it with me."

"You don't need a picture of me. I'm there with you, with or without it."

"I'm afraid of forgetting what you looked like," James admitted. "Who we were."

Charlie brought his hand to gently rest on James' thigh. His hand was small and pale, too, with thin blue veins just underneath the skin. They looked the same as his own, just in a different branching pattern. His skin was warm and it felt so real. His own breath was visible in the cold and Charlie's breath was visible too, mixing with his own.

"I met... new people, Charlie."

"Oh?" Charlie beamed, his eyes bright and full of happiness.

"You know how... I've lived with walkers, ever since..."

He knew what he was going to say before he even finished the sentence.

"I know. How you've grown to care for them." There was no judgment in his voice, nothing but warmth and steady reassurance in his gaze.

"Yes. And I... still do. I just - I wished..."

"...That you had someone to talk to," Charlie completed his sentence for him.

James nodded, swallowing hard.

"Well... first, I met a girl named Clementine. She's so caring, so kind... I started to hope that she was different. Not violent like the rest of the world. I even... told her how I feel about walkers. And Charlie, she understood. For the first time in my life, I met someone who understood."

"Oh, Jamie," Charlie breathed, moving his hand to intertwine their fingers together tightly. "I'm so happy for you. I knew you would find someone like that, someday."

"I didn't think anyone would ever understand. I know I'm... different."

"You're a good person, right down to your core. I've always known that. I knew that one day, you'd find someone else who was good, like you."

"She's the leader of a group, too. She invited me to stay. Her friends welcomed me like one of their own, even though they barely knew me."

"I hope you accepted."

"I... told her I'd like to try. To be with the group. I don't know if I'm ready to... stay there, permanently."

"I know how long you've been hoping for something like this to happen, Jamie. I know how badly you want to belong," he frowned sadly. "Why do you feel like you're not ready?"

"I'm so... afraid, Charlie. Losing you... it almost destroyed me." His voice wavered with emotion.

"I know. And I'm so sorry... for all the pain I put you through." Charlie's expression was sincere, full of sorrow and regret. "But I think you're forgetting how strong you are. No matter what happens, I know you can handle it. And I want you to be happy. "

"Do you remember how we used to say... one day, we'll drive away from this place. Make a new life together, somewhere better... and now I wish more than anything that I could go back."

"Those dreams we had..." Charlie swallowed, but the pain in his voice was clear. "I know it hurt to lose them. It hurt me too. And I wish we could go back as much as you do." He closed his eyes as his voice broke. After a moment he regained composure and continued speaking with determination in his eyes. "But we both know that we can't. It sounds like you've found somewhere better, now. Don't throw that away. Especially not because of me. I couldn't bear to cause you any more pain."

"Charlie... I still love you." His voice was trembling, tears threatening to spill over.

"And I love you. I always have, and I always will. That's why I can't let you pass up this chance."

Guilt and shame suddenly overwhelmed his senses, forcing him to tell Charlie about something that had been bothering him while he had the chance. "There's a boy. In the new group. I - I feel something for him but then I think of you and I... I feel so guilty. Would it be... wrong? To feel something for him, while I still love you? I don't... I don't think I'll ever be able to stop loving you."

"No, Jamie. It wouldn't be wrong. You can't let your love for me keep you from moving on. From finding happiness."

"I don't know if I can move on."

"Do you... want to move on?"

"I... I do," he admitted. "I just... I've been in so much pain... for so long. I don't want it to hurt anymore."

"Caring for someone else, now, doesn't change how you feel for me or what we had. You can hold onto your memories of me and let yourself move on at the same time. You can love someone else even while you still love me. You don't have to give up anything in order to move on. You can start by just... opening yourself up to other people."

He nodded. He moved closer, resting his head on Charlie's shoulder. He watched his chest closely as it rose and fell with each breath he took. Everything about him was so real. He wanted it to be real, so badly that it almost physically hurt.

"Sometimes I wonder if you're mad at me, for leaving. If it hurt you as much as it hurt me."

"I love you, more than I've ever loved anyone else. Losing someone you love - it always hurts, so of course it hurt me. But you know that I... I'd seen too much. Done too much. Even though I loved you... that doesn't mean that I knew _how_ to love. How to care for you. What happened to us... it was so horrible that I didn't know how to live at all. How to be a person."

"I wish I could have saved you. I wish I could have convinced you." The tears rolling down his face felt hot in contrast with the cold night air. But he had to say what he had been thinking for such a long time.

"There are some things, some people... that you can't save. I was someone you couldn't save. And I'm sorry for that, Jamie. I'm so sorry."

Those words cut deep into his soul, tearing through his very heart. Part of him knew it was the truth and he knew that he needed to hear it. But it still shattered his heart into a thousand pieces.

"If I could save only one person on Earth, Charlie, it would be you. Not me, not anyone else - I'd only ever choose you."

"You _can_ only save one person. But that person's you, not me. You're the one you can save."

One of Charlie's hands was rubbing his back, the other one moving softly through his hair. It was the same way he'd always held him when he was upset. He could never forget it.

"You have a good heart. You love so deeply. You have a capacity for hope like I've never seen - even after you lost everything, you still had hope. And that makes you special. You do so much good already, but the most good you can do is to live a happy life - take care of yourself. If there's an opportunity for happiness, take it. Because you deserve it. I... I won't let you pass it up for my sake. I couldn't live with myself."

"But when it ends - when everything ends - it's going to hurt so much. I don't know if I can -"

"Oh, it might hurt. But it's worth it, right? What's a little pain compared to how happy they make you?"

He smiled softly at that. "You know they make me happy, huh?"

"I do. I can see your old self shining through, you know. You're free to be who you want to be with them. Trust me, Jamie. They all love you, I'm sure of it. I don't see how it would be possible for someone to have you in their life without loving you."

"You've always said the sweetest things... but I - I feel like I don't - I don't deserve..."

"That's why I'll keep telling you any chance I get. I know they care about you and want what's best for you. Just... promise me you'll try to let them in. To let them care for you."

"Okay, Charlie. I promise."

He'd almost forgotten how beautiful Charlie's smile was.

A moment later, James closed his eyes and felt Charlie's soft lips pressed against his forehead in a loving kiss.

"All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, you know." The feeling of his warm breath against his skin sent a shiver down his spine. He felt like his heart wasn't big enough to contain all of the love that he felt in that moment. "But I - I wasn't able to... I didn't have it in me. I couldn't. I'll always be sorry for that. But I still want you to find happiness, more than anything else. Anywhere you can find it... please take it. I need you to do that for me."

"I will. I swear it."

James lifted his head to look closely into those dark brown eyes. They were nearly black, but he'd always been able to see the colour in them. He felt like he could see Charlie's soul, his heart, his old self at the core of his being.

"Charlie... There's something I have to ask. Are you... still alive?"

"I'm afraid I don't have the answer to that." His smile fell slightly and his expression changed to one of sympathy. "But there is one thing I know for certain. _You_ are alive. You're free and you can be whoever you want. In fact, I think you're already the person you want to be. I know you. I know that's who you really are, deep down."

He could feel the world around them fading slightly and he knew they didn't have much time left together.

"I hope you're alive, Charlie. I think about you every day. How much you changed me... how much happiness you brought to my life. Even while we were in hell."

"You did the same for me. And I think about you too, all the time. Doesn't matter where I am - whether I'm alive, dead or in between. I always love you and I'm always with you. No matter what." 

"When I left, and after... you knew that I still loved you, right? I - I remember telling you but I don't know if you believed it. I need you to believe it."

"I believed you. I knew. I could never doubt that and I could never forget it."

Their eyes met and James pulled him forward into a passionate kiss. A part of him felt frantic, desperate to express his feelings to Charlie before their time together ended. They had no reservations, nothing holding them back from pulling each other close and kissing as much as they possibly could before their time was up.

Charlie seemed as desperate to express himself as James was. Their kisses were deep and filled with more emotion than could ever be expressed with words or actions. 

Even as the world around him faded and he entered the state between consciousness and sleep, he could feel Charlie's lips and the sensation of his own heart racing as it always had when they'd kissed in the past. He swore he could even feel Charlie's heart beating against his chest, just as fast as his own. He felt like their souls were intertwined, wrapped around each other as tightly as their bodies were. 

He refused to let Charlie's body go, holding onto him with all his strength until he awoke and the feeling of the other boy pressed against him disappeared.

  
\---

When James came to, his eyelashes were wet. For a moment, he felt disoriented. A soft mattress was pressed into his back. His own body radiated warmth underneath a blanket. There was no wind, no light from above, and he could sense that a ceiling was above his head rather than the open sky. He could hear the faint sound of Willy snoring in the next room.

If he kept his eyes closed, he could almost convince himself that he was still in the old world and the snoring belonged to his dad.

He was trying to burn the image of Charlie, the feeling of his skin and the sound of his voice into his memory. It had felt so real - so real that it hurt to come back to reality, to be ripped away from him again.

He opened his eyes and swallowed hard, letting the tears spill over but trying to stay quiet.

It felt bizarre to have slept indoors, in a bed. He couldn't remember the last time he had done this. In his peripheral vision he saw a poster on the wall next to him and he sat up in bed to look at it properly. He'd looked at it last night, but it looked different in the soft light from the rising sun.

Although he had told Clementine that he was still just visiting and that this was just his first night trying to sleep in one of the rooms, the kids had insisted on making the poster anyway. In the few months that he had been visiting they had grown fond of him and they were always eagerly asking when he would move in.

The poster was made from one of those old bristol boards that they used to have in schools. The kids had written _WELCOME HOME JAMES_ in huge blocky letters in the centre of the poster. Everyone at the school had signed along the edge of the board in permanent marker, some had written messages next to their name and others had drawn a doodle for him.

It was so surreal. He reached out to touch the poster with his fingertips, as if he needed confirmation that he wasn't imagining this. He felt the soft material against his skin.

The sentiment truly touched his heart. He was overwhelmed by so many emotions, more than he could name. 

He could never forget Charlie. He could never stop loving him.  
  
But he wanted to open himself up to other people, too. They would never be able to fill the hole where Charlie had been but they made him feel hopeful and warm and fulfilled in a different way.

He'd never expected to feel so much for other people again after what had happened. But he did. When the kids smiled at him, when they asked him to teach them something, when they invited him to sit with them at every meal, when they expressed affection for him, with gestures like this...

He almost felt loved. He almost felt like he belonged. He hoped that one day he would be able to feel it fully.

_I think I'll be ready soon._

**Author's Note:**

> The other stories won't be as sad as this one. x_x


End file.
